LUCY

The boy: Ben

Lucy went on a date with someone she met at a bar. His name was Ben. This was back in November. Since Lucy and Ben hadn’t met before, conversation started with pretty boring answers to those pretty-boring-but-you-gotta-ask-‘em-anyways, first date questions (Where are you from? What do you do? Do you have siblings? “Ohh, that’s nice!”).

Then Lucy asked Ben a question that finally ignited conversation.

Eh, not really conversation. More like a too-long and painfully-boring lecture given by Ben on the topic of Halloween.

Lucy’s question- “What project were you working on last Sunday?”

Last Sunday: Lucy was bored and didn’t have a real interest in dating Ben, so she had the balls to text him and ask if he wanted to meet her for a drink. Ben said he couldn’t because he was working on a project.

Sidenote: Lucy isn’t a terrible person for agreeing to go on a date with someone who she is pretty confident that she will not want to actually date. Sometimes you think that person will surprise you in a great way when you do go on a date with them, like look completely different.

Ben’s response- “My Halloween costume.”

During their date, Ben showed Lucy every one of the many pictures he has stored in a separate Halloween-dedicated album in his phone. She saw Ben’s Halloween costumes from the past 7 years, as well as his favorite costumes worn by friends, family members, and some celebrities.

Lucy learned, among many other things, how much money Ben has spent on each costume, how many things he has ordered from Ebay to authenticate said costumes, how to deconstructed regular cowboy boots to then reconstruct them into superhero boots, how far in advance Ben needs to start planning his costume (Nov 2nd), and how to mix different color spray paints to get the exact hue you’re looking for.

To make things even less interesting for Lucy, she didn’t know a single one of the characters any of his costumes were supposed to be. Uh, pirate? JACK SPARROW, YOU IDIOT. GOSH. 

That year for Halloween, Ben was Wolverine (Ben- “Hugh Jackman from X-Men.” Lucy- “Oh.”). He was still sporting the mutton chops that he grew for his costume on their date. Let it go, buddy. Just let it go.